Danica Phelps accidentally a fine piece of ass. Accidentally what? A fine piece of ass.

Ok. Kickoff is seconds away. The Mountaineers got their asses handed to them yesterday by an unranked bunch of Caronlinian redneck fucks, so The Bears are all we got now. Check back later for "live" play by play clips and upates about Spermlacher's first annual Bears Kickoff party (there is a case of Hamm's in the refrigerator, I shit you not.) Let's hope Peyton Manning forgot to eat his Chunky Soup.

-Mark Ass